Sounds like you are having some promising discoveries. Letting them lead in territories that they were unable to lead in before is really tricky... like having then initiate social gatherings, etc. but it is great that you are no longer filling that part of his dance card. Patience and babysteps... and maybe WOA when he makes a date with auntie... praising his efforts to keep up with family, etc. mentioning how happy it makes her... he might get the message.. Then after you praise him, maybe ask how is grandomther is doing...
With respect to the things he does for OW that he does not do for you... Figure out what each of them may be and then, well, I KNOW we can set a path for that to happen!
What things can you do that will shake the familiar roles that each of you have fallen into? I liked what was said about his ability to try new things with OW or things you would have loved... Well let him meet the new you! What would he be doing? What do you imagine, knowing he loves you, prevents him from expressing himself in that way to you? What would you be doing that would make him want to do those things? And what might you be doing that may send signals to him that you are not open to his behaving that way with you?
I read about this couple that had a game they played. In their case, H was ignoring her charms and was also looking for love (?) in all the wrong places.
One day she got all dressed up and went to a bar. On the way out she seductively teased him and told him "I am going out to the such and such bar and ALL I can tell you is, you better show up and make sure that the man I go home with, is you!"
He arrived later and by the time he arrived she was hanging out and talking to some men.... her h had to "win" her attention and flirt with her and then, well, finally she went home with him. Sounds silly, but she really described it well and it became quite an adventure for them.
Now this is not necessarily what I am suggesting for you. This would absolutely NOT work with my H! But she said it really made her husband feel the thrill of the chase! And he was thrilled that she "chose" him. And she felt like she had found a creative way to shake him up and get her to take notice.
Anyway, I think the emotional gifts that you feel OW was receiving, are there for you, as well. You may have a small list of other signs of interest, caring and concern from that you want from NG. The point is to identify them and discover a way to break out of a pattern so that he may give them to YOU.
He really seems to be responsive to you when you initate in certain areas. We have spoken before about her damsel in distress stuff... we know you do not want to play THAT role but there are other ways to be demonstrative and let him know that he is your hero....
ugh. cannot believe this feminist is putting this stuff out there... sheesh. but
Ya know? The truth is, he could be your knight, your hero, your sweet, sweet snuggling king or whatever it is YOU want. You know how hard it is for men to stop and ask for directions.... give him a map.
