I saw this on Calystra's Tips thread - what an amazing list. And boy do I have a long way to go Goal for Oct - become proficient at validating. How will I measure this? NG will want to open up and really talk more than he has done in the past.
Quote: Tips on Validation:
*listen *put aside all distractions while they are talking *focus on them if you are in person *let them know that you understand what they are saying by either "i understand" or repeating back what he said to you *validate their feelings by saying things like "i understand why you might feel that way" *don't criticize *don't judge *don't pressure or control *don't use the word "but" at all! *don't ever tell them their feelings are wrong *always try to clearly understand what they are saying and don't make assumptions - ask if you don't understand *don't be self-righteous *don't be their parent *don't blame *don't react selfishly because of the way something makes you feel - it is your choice about how you choose to feel *don't argue *don't interrupt *don't hog the conversation *compliment them on things *encourage them *trust their decisions - don't question them.. their doing what they think is best *be their #1 fan
Goal for Oct - become proficient at validating. How will I measure this? NG will want to open up and really talk more than he has done in the past.
