Quote: he said that he was doing pushups!! He was laughing saying that it was the only place he could do it..locked in the crapper, lol.
Hey, HP. When you get your libido back, all you have to do is go into the bathroom with him and have him do pushups on top of you. That way, he gets his exercise, and you get your action.
Ok, so I'm not really back in action but I wanna be, does that count for anything?!
We had a very nice weekend and, dang you NOP, I am beginning to see the pattern (esp of late) of a relaxed and loving H on the weekend turning into a testy and stressed out guy during the week. Methinks he is keeping the majority of his work-related stress from me so as not to worry me. What he is forgetting is that HE is the worrywart, not me.
He was very loving and attentive of me. Friday afternoon, in the midst of my hormonal breakdown, he sent a wonderful email that even said the word Desire twice! Of course, in typical LDH verbiage, it was so vague that I could not discern whether he was talking about physical desire or desire for emotional closeness or what. I made a conscious decision not to press for clarification (as I usually do) and just assign whatever meaning to it that I felt like.
He also told me twice this weekend that he misses ML to me. Then last night he surprised me with a hot bath and candles lit all around and a glass of wine poured for me! I was so touched. Before I got into the bath, he hugged me and kissed me in the "this could easily turn into passionate kissing" way that he does. Once again, I did not take the bait and turn it into a good kiss; he can learn to do that if he wants to. But, folks, I'm tellin ya: I instantly was aroused. It was actual physical horniness coming over me...whoo hoo! Not that I'm ready for sex, but it feels good to be feeling like myself again. There was one point last week when I told him that I was pretty sure I'd never be myself again. lol I had a minor complication come up (related to the birth of Bit O Honey) and finally went to have it taken care of on Saturday. I instantly began to feel like myself again. I think I was underestimating how cruddy that was making me feel.
So I'm guessing that we'll have a hard time making it to four weeks--six is totally out of the question! But I will attempt to be responsible and do the right thing and if I fall off course (nah, not ME!) I'm sure my straight-as-an-arrow H will be there ready to shove me back on track.
In fact, I am rather amused at his mind over matter abilities. I've been draping my half naked body all over him lately while we are in bed and, in the past, that would at least get him hard...didn't necessarily mean any action would take place but there would be a SIGN that he was aware of my charms. Now, nothing.
I know that he is just scared to death of hurting me so I hope to continue to heal and get back in our groove. Yesterday he picked me up "carrying over the threshold" style, more to amuse the kids than anything else, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was a little too much for me still. He figured it out after he set me down and felt TERRIBLE about it. We have double stupidity going on in our household--I try to downplay any physical ailments I have in order to be tough and his hyperactivity overrides his brain. LOL
At any rate, I would like to see some signs that he is having a difficult time with this enforced celibacy (over 3 weeks now) but I know that his desire is sparked by mine so until I'm back in action he will keep his tightly under wraps.
Been gone on travel for the past week, so I haven't kept up.
Quote: Anyway, he runs himself ragged every day of his life and at the end of the day has nothing left for me. That's why the 15 min thing did not work out. He was bushed and very resentful that he "had" to do this at the end of the day and THEN I might even want sex, too.
What if you set the alarm clock 15 minutes early in the morning and had the dedicated time then? I know it may not be ideal b/c of time of day, but hey it might be better than nuttin, Honey.
Hugs,
GGB who is trying to figure out the same things regarding asking for affection.
You know, I have suggested the morning thing SO many times and, at first, he would laugh it off as if I were making a joke. Then when he realized I was serious he was aghast! He said, You want me to get up at 4:30 just so we can have some time together or...or...have SEX?!
I continue to mention it every now and then, just to keep it fresh in his mind that he owes me something...morning, night, whatever. He has, in the past, indicated that our time will come when our kids are grown!
Ha!
He's pretty confident that I'll still be here, pining after him, isn't he.
At any rate, I do believe that the bigger reason is that he fears that if he were to get up earlier and spend time with me, he'd get so engrossed in it that he'd be late for Mass. I make it out that my H can blow me off like it's nothing but it does take a good amount of concentration and effort on his part to do so. If he allows himself to relax and enjoy my attention, he's a goner. Hence the reason that he avoids many situations in which I want to give him attention or love and affection--cause then he is not in control anymore..?
Oh and one more thing: If I were to ask H for a hug or some time together at any other time during the day than between the hours of 9 p-4:30 a, he would gladly oblige me. He does not really withhold hugs or kisses from me, although he does keep his sexuality hidden away inside him and wait for ME to drag it out. My point is, though, that if I want him alone (and not a 'family' hug) I have to do it when the kids are asleep. But that is the time of day when he absolutely freaks out if I want something from him. If it is HIS idea, that's fine, let's get it on. But if I am initiating anything and it wasn't on his mental agenda, fuggeddaboutit.
Oh well, thanks for the suggestion anyway. This was a long winded way of saying, Tried that and he balked at that too!
HP, Bummer, although I guess I shoulda known that it would be the case. If it would make a difference to either of us, I would jump in my plane and be in MO in a few hours and give you hugs etc, but I know it would not be anywhere near the same as sharing the affection with our respective spouses, so here's the next best thing: ((((((((((HP))))))))))
GGB, who also feels he is at the bottom of his W's ambitious to-do list, and who'd be happy to receive an unsolicited hug or kiss from W.
I get what you mean about the hugging thing...if my H is in the mood to hug me "after hours" ( meaning after we have officially gone to sleep) then he is free to do so, but I don't have the same leeway with him. Sometimes he will say something like " I have a crazy day tomorrow" which is my signal that I had better not disturb his sleep by actually wanting something from him. He gets all freaked out that he won't be able to fall back to sleep and it'll be an extra sucky work day. There are nites when I do want that hug ( or more but let's stick to hugs) but I know better than to invade his sleep space, so I will go downstairs and read a book or whatever, when I know all I really need is a little physical comfort. Invariably, he hates this too, as he somehow realizes, no matter how unobtrusive I am, that I left the room and somehow he can't sleep, probably because he knows something is up with me and he feels guilty because he knows I know I can't turn to him. So he wants me there, but not "bothering" him in any way. He is also bad at setting boundaries at work( but great with me).
Okay, enough venting. Happy your H did such a sweet and loving thing this weekend and that you felt turned on as well. Honey is back!!!
HP, Glad to hear that you are feeling like yourself again! The whole postpartum hormonal imbalance thing is a bit unsettling to say the least. Wine, candles, bath drawn, whatta way to have your man appreciate you.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
You mean you missed the last 3-4 months of me pissing and moaning?
Never worry, friend. I would be happy to compile my last few threads and email them to your home so that you can enjoy MY pity party as well as your own.
Hope things are better for you soon..and thanks for the well wishes!
