Ok, so I'm not really back in action but I wanna be, does that count for anything?!
We had a very nice weekend and, dang you NOP, I am beginning to see the pattern (esp of late) of a relaxed and loving H on the weekend turning into a testy and stressed out guy during the week. Methinks he is keeping the majority of his work-related stress from me so as not to worry me. What he is forgetting is that HE is the worrywart, not me.
He was very loving and attentive of me. Friday afternoon, in the midst of my hormonal breakdown, he sent a wonderful email that even said the word Desire twice! Of course, in typical LDH verbiage, it was so vague that I could not discern whether he was talking about physical desire or desire for emotional closeness or what. I made a conscious decision not to press for clarification (as I usually do) and just assign whatever meaning to it that I felt like.
He also told me twice this weekend that he misses ML to me. Then last night he surprised me with a hot bath and candles lit all around and a glass of wine poured for me! I was so touched. Before I got into the bath, he hugged me and kissed me in the "this could easily turn into passionate kissing" way that he does. Once again, I did not take the bait and turn it into a good kiss; he can learn to do that if he wants to. But, folks, I'm tellin ya: I instantly was aroused. It was actual physical horniness coming over me...whoo hoo! Not that I'm ready for sex, but it feels good to be feeling like myself again. There was one point last week when I told him that I was pretty sure I'd never be myself again. lol I had a minor complication come up (related to the birth of Bit O Honey) and finally went to have it taken care of on Saturday. I instantly began to feel like myself again. I think I was underestimating how cruddy that was making me feel.
So I'm guessing that we'll have a hard time making it to four weeks--six is totally out of the question! But I will attempt to be responsible and do the right thing and if I fall off course (nah, not ME!) I'm sure my straight-as-an-arrow H will be there ready to shove me back on track.
In fact, I am rather amused at his mind over matter abilities. I've been draping my half naked body all over him lately while we are in bed and, in the past, that would at least get him hard...didn't necessarily mean any action would take place but there would be a SIGN that he was aware of my charms. Now, nothing.
I know that he is just scared to death of hurting me so I hope to continue to heal and get back in our groove. Yesterday he picked me up "carrying over the threshold" style, more to amuse the kids than anything else, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was a little too much for me still. He figured it out after he set me down and felt TERRIBLE about it. We have double stupidity going on in our household--I try to downplay any physical ailments I have in order to be tough and his hyperactivity overrides his brain. LOL
At any rate, I would like to see some signs that he is having a difficult time with this enforced celibacy (over 3 weeks now) but I know that his desire is sparked by mine so until I'm back in action he will keep his tightly under wraps.
