Flutie, This is so so true. There is no community of females who descend upon the house when Baby arrives to take care of things until mom is healed. My own mother is an engineer for the government and travels nearly every week. Asking her for help is out of the question. I have people I could ask, but believe me, people are not lining up at your door wanting to help when there are kids blowing chunks inside. LOL They pretty much keep their distance and who can blame them.
Chris, I think you misunderstand that this 'problem' of H's is not due to the kids having the flu--he is like this all the time. I can't help it that I am in need of a hug right now and may seem needy to him--tough sh*t, I say. Sometimes you just gotta step up to the plate and be a man to your wife.
Journey, I was rethinking your 10 minutes suggestion. A couple yrs ago, I suggested that we do 15 minutes a night. We did it for about 3 nights when H put a halt to it saying that he just couldn't commit to it. I was shocked that he would admit, to my face, that he was unwilling to give me 15 min of uninterrupted time.
At the risk of making my H out to be an ogre, let me explain his personality. He is hyperactive and does not slow down until his head hits the pillow. He has a huge workload at his job because he can do the job of two people, so why not take advantage of that. When he gets home he is constantly on the move, sometimes doing household stuff, mostly playing with the kids and tending to them. This is his choice--he wouldn't be able to sit still even if he tried to. He loves to exercise but has a hard time setting boundaries with our children. Last night I was nursing the baby in my room and he was in our master bath. The kids came barreling in wanting to know where he was and he answered them from the bathroom. His voice sounded funny...as if he was on the floor. I instantly asked what he was doing (thought he may have hurt himself) and he said that he was doing pushups!! He was laughing saying that it was the only place he could do it..locked in the crapper, lol. I really don't feel sorry for him, as it is his fault that he sets no boundaries with the kids and they run all over him. Come to think of it....the ONLY person he sets boundaries with is me. I mean, every other person (his parents, his employer, etc) gets whatever they want and he cannot say no to them. I am the only one he feels safe enough to do that with. It is both a compliment and an insult, I guess.
Anyway, he runs himself ragged every day of his life and at the end of the day has nothing left for me. That's why the 15 min thing did not work out. He was bushed and very resentful that he "had" to do this at the end of the day and THEN I might even want sex, too.
Hmm, now this boundary thing is bubbling around in my brain. I think he even enjoys setting the boundary with me, in a forceful fashion, because he is too much of a nincompoop to do it with others.
Oh and Flutie, one more thing: You are correct that I'd rather just clean the house than watch him stress out and have a cow when he gets home. It really is not that huge of a deal, although if it gets to be too much I will have NO problem telling him to do it himself. Plus, in some sick way, it makes me feel like a normal human being...to be doing things that are a part of my usual routine, even though things are in a major transition right now.
