First of all, congratulations on your newest little Honey Mini! I haven't been on much lately... Glad I took the time to get caught up with you.
Girlfriend, are you being kind to yourself? You are a walking human with hormones that are all out of whack. No matter how hard I try to forget that they affected me to the extent they did for both of my pregnancies, I just can't seem to shake the memory completely.
I'm still sleep deprived with D7, and I know it affects my clarity... You're back in sleep deprivation boot camp for awhile, so take it easy would you?
Uh, I'm going to be really jealous if any of your goals are concrete and not at all related to your current job of being the milk wagon for a newborn? Just the thought of doing something more than surviving after delivering a baby is mind boggling to me.
Anyway, a big cyber hug to you and your new daughter!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
No sirree bob, my goals are 95% to be a milkmaid and I am succeeding at that quite nicely.
The other goal I spoke of was just to not get too caught up in the "must lose baby fat" mindset. I got a little crazy with that mindframe after D2 was born, convinced that I could lure H back to me with a sexy new bod. Worked to some extent but, you know, that isn't the whole picture in a SSM. Mostly it is a problem of a screwed up relational dynamic between the two people. My H does prefer for me to be skinny (though he'd never admit that to me, or at least not until he was under sufficient duress, lol) but I still need to keep my head on straight on not get too crazed with the weight loss thoughts.
I normally do quite well with keeping my thoughts straight but when it comes to my sex life, I get loopy..what can I say.
At any rate, the baby is beautiful and sweet and I am so blessed with my 3 daughters. God has been very good to me.
Do I really want my H to morph into being HD or do I want him to stay exactly as he is and just have the hots for me at the precise moment that I want him to?
Meaning, I don't know that I could live with a truly HD man. I think that I would start to feel overwhelmed by the attention. I would LOVE it in the bedroom, and many other places, but I wonder if I could live with it all the time??
I don't know the answer to that question as it has been far too many years since I have had a relationship with an HD partner and even then I was a teenager who knew nada about sex, let alone love.
In college, I had a 4 yr R with an LD man and then broke up with him (lack of sex was a big factor) and then hooked up with H. I also had a few flings in there but not long enough to discern what the boys' desire level was.
So I was wondering if any other HD people felt like this? Would the HD guys feel overwhelmed with an HD wife? I mean, I think we all fantasize about it, but it would really be a whole new ball of wax to LIVE it, kwim.
As a wife, I expect my H to provide for us (this was a mutual decision), to interact with the kids, to help around the house, to bathe our kids and get them ready for bed, to be responsible for all house and car maintenance, make time for an occasional date and weekend trip, and oh yeah, to be willing to ML passionately at least 4 times per week. More if the mood strikes.
This is a tall order and I realize that.
Actually I know there are many men out there who do all this willingly and would have no problem with that. I suppose my real question is this:
How would an HD person react to being under PRESSURE to provide more sex?
Would you be okay with it?
I don't know what my own answer to that question would be. I think I would love the attention and flattery, and certainly the sex, but I wonder if it would get old after a while? Is it the thrill of the chase that keeps the HD person HD?
These thoughts circulate in my head as I try to figure out why I keep choosing LD men and what it is about them that appeals to me, and vice versa.
More rambling to follow, I'm sure. Boy I'll bet you folks will be glad when I start sleeping again and have posts that make sense and stay on topic.
Quote: How would an HD person react to being under PRESSURE to provide more sex? Would you be okay with it?
I'd certainly be willing to give it a fighting chance.
Between X and W, I had a girlfriend for 7 months who was definitely HD. She never had to "pressure" me for sex, although I do remember a couple times when I woke up at her house, told her I had to get up and go back to my house before going to work, and she would, ahem, convince me that I could hang around at least 20-30 minutes longer. As I travel back in time to remember those moments, I can assure you that the "pressure" did not bother me in the least.
It is an interesting twist on desire, especially from you, HP. It seems that your childbirth-related-low-libido has turned you, hopefully briefly, into an LD-thinkin' woman. Do not be seduced by the dark side.
I have wondered that myself. I know I could sure use physical activity a couple times a week and be happy. I know from experience with H that what we have is not up to my cravings. Actually I could take or leave what H offers right now. Its very boring, very predictable and not exciting at all. I think I have settled into keeping myself busy and accepting whatever he offers and leaving it at that for the time being.
I don't know if I could keep up with a really HD man who wanted it everyday. I think that might exhaust me to a point. So here we have the HD/LD thing again. I consider myself HD because H only wants sex maybe once a month. But.......... if my feelings were different I think I might have alot more desire. KWIM? I could however be happy with twice a week. To some that would be LD. So who knows
So it's sort of a "be careful what you wish for" type of thing, eh HP?
Quote: As a wife, I expect my H to provide for us (this was a mutual decision), to interact with the kids, to help around the house, to bathe our kids and get them ready for bed, to be responsible for all house and car maintenance, make time for an occasional date and weekend trip, and oh yeah, to be willing to ML passionately at least 4 times per week. More if the mood strikes.
Heheh... "expect" is a strong word. You didn't mention laundry or cooking specifically, so I'll assume that he doesn't have to do those. Still, that's a huge expectation of any man. I hope you treat him nicely.
Quote: Between X and W, I had a girlfriend for 7 months who was definitely HD. She never had to "pressure" me for sex
A girlfriend is not a wife and having your own place is not the same as having all of your worldly possessions commingled. Also seven months is not very long...As I think I said somewhere else, it's troubling about how sex in marriage becomes ABOUT so many other things besides communication and pleasure... it becomes about am I mad at you, did you overspend without telling me, are you doing your share of the chores, have I put on weight, is your new co-worker single and attractive... if one could park all of those issues at the bedroom door, it would be great. In a seven-month R with a partner you're not married to, those issues haven't had time to intrude yet. But add marriage, a couple of kids, repsonsibility, pressure, debt, work, cellulite, grudges, and it's a whole different thing.
Betsey 
