Things are going very well here. There is a really good vibe going on..I know that next week, when H goes back to work, things will get hairier and scarier around here as I adjust to my new lifestyle as a mom to three little ones. But that, too, shall pass. I am optimistic and the mood is so much different than after the births of our 2 other daughters. I attribute that to the newfound closeness and intimacy that we have worked to establish over the last 2 yrs. Things will not be perfect (are they ever with a newborn?) but I feel so much better equipped to handle the stress this time and I think H does too.
He has also been LOOKING at me this week. Really seeing me and saying how much he "missed me" while I was pregnant. This has normally been his code word for being horny but I just cannot imagine that he is thinking sex thoughts at 5 days postpartum. I think that the feeling he is referring to is the knowledge that the only person inhabiting my body these days is me. For some reason that is a very comforting and soothing thought to him. On Monday night, ONE day after I had the baby (actually not even 24 hrs!) he was sitting at my feet giving me a foot massage (yeah he's a pretty good H:) and he looked down and said, Oh my gosh! I see your BONES on your feet! It really IS you again!! I was truly touched at how happy he was and at the same time a little mystified as to why a pregnancy could throw him off to the extent that it did. I know he is not unique in this regard but, still, every time I see evidence of how strongly it affected him I am shocked. Then again yesterday, he sat down next to me and was hugging and kissing me..just stopping short of a lovely french kiss..over and over. This is his MO, btw. He will kiss me in a way that indicates that he's up for some tongue and then it is up to me to take it to the next level. This time I didn't, cause I am not mentally there yet and quite honestly: If he wants me, let him show it, you know! I have gone thru a lot this week and I don't feel mentally up for taking up the slack in his sexual confidence.
And for all you inquiring minds, no I don't feel horny yet, although I do feel remarkably back to normal phsyically. It is actually scary that I passed an 8 lb baby outta me and feel this good. But mentally I am all about the baby, as it should be at this stage of the game. I MISS my husband and sex sounds good in a connecting sort of way, but there is no physical urge for it yet. All in good time!
NOP, I wanted to tell you that my H feels exactly as you do in regards to little girls. At the moment she was born, when we saw she was a girl, he said (with a great deal of emotion in his voice) "I am so relieved it's a girl!" He really wanted another daughter but felt that since he wanted a girl, it would almost certainly be a boy, lol. He adores our little girls and they are going to be SO sad next week when he's gone.
To all of you who read my thread and give a hoot about my new family member, THANK YOU. God bless all of you for being so sweet and thoughtful. I felt so blessed this week to log on and see all the responses and helpful suggestions (massive dose of sarcasm there) on the name. Incidentally, I did NOT choose Fonda Dicks, though it does have a catchy ring to it.
Lot's of peeps with good news this week. I miss you, HP. And it sounds like you won't have an SSM when you get back in the groove. You best not forget us here in the trenches!
Smiled when I read your update...sounds like things are going as smoothly as possible in new baby world. I agree with HD...we might be hearing about some hot passion once you get the clearance, and many of us would enjoy that for sure!
Glad H is being so sweet to you... you deserve it.
Today is my first day home alone with the kids and I am feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed, mostly just because I am out of the routine of attending to their every need. H has fulfilled that role for a week and a half now and I must say that I have enjoyed my vacation! He was saying this past weekend that he was ready to go back to work (in a joking way) due to their incessant demands and the complete and utter lack of alone time when you are the caregiving parent.
The dynamic between us is a lot like Journey's situation..2 LD people living together and coexisting peacefully, if without excitement of any kind.
This has been a good exercise for me to feel this way. VERY eye opening to get in bed at night and feel like reading or talking but the thought of ML to him is just the furthest thing from my mind. And, yet, while feeling like this I still feel overwhelming love for him so I guess (insert my best begrudging voice) I should at last believe him when he says his love is as fierce and strong as any man's for his bride, but that his sex drive just isn't.
I have NO physical urge for sex but it is an intriguing idea at this point. I think if he set the stage perfectly, my curiosity would be piqued. Would I actually WANT it, then? I don't know...I would certainly enjoy the attention and flattery but I suspect that it would take intense physical stimulation to get me anywhere near desire. I relate this not because I am at all alarmed (after all, I am only 8 days postpartum!) but just to journal the weird feelings I am now having as a member of the Other Side.
H has been very attentive and noticing me but I swear as the clock started ticking this weekend...and his back-to-work date got closer and closer, I could see and feel his connection to me evaporating. Stress and dread were taking over what was formerly love and attention (even sexually noticing me!) towards me. It seems that he is only capable of processing ONE large emotion at a time...?
One other thing of note is that we are both drawing towards each other in a "futuristic" kind of way. We decided that in lieu of getting each other Christmas gifts (hey we live off one income, we have to start planning Xmas early around here..:) we will save for a weekend getaway trip instead. We have done this in the past and it was nice. (no sex, but hey who's holding a grudge) He was so excited about the thought of this. Now, we will have our baby with us so it won't count as complete couple time but they are pretty portable in the early months so I am not concerned about that. What is noteworthy is how excited we both were at the prospect of being able to reconnect with each other as adults and lovers. Cause he most certainly knows by now that there will be no more romantic weekend getaways without sex..that last one about did us in. Anyway, we were excitedly talking about where we should go and what to do, etc. It was clear that he has missed me far more than I missed him, during this pregnancy. Probably because I never considered myself GONE!
One thing his attentions this last week have done is to make me feel self conscious about my weight. Not too bad but enough to where I have felt the need to make self-disparaging remarks in some sort of weak attempt to get him to prop me up. It is silly, I know, but when you are a woman who is married to an LDH who is affected by your weight it is a hard thing to keep your head on straight. Still yet, I will do as I did with the others...lose it sensibly and keep it off. I remember quite well the same feelings of panic after I had D2--the thought of "Is he disgusted by how I look?" etc. So that will be a challenge for me the next few months to not become obssessed on this one aspect of myself and place so much emphasis on it that I drive myself batty. I am not 100% responsible for his sex drive. That will be my mantra, lol.
Well these are just the ramblings of a sleep-deprived new mother. Some journaling, some goals, but mostly just rambles.
Hello, Miz Honey and thanks for keeping us updated with happennings at the "Honey House." We all look forward to hearing what you are up to.
It's going to tkae a little bit of time for you to feel rested enough to "want" again. Mother Nature does that to most new mothers for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is to not get preggers again so soon after delivery. Reliable birth control is relatively new to the evolutionary process, ya know......
Rest when you can, and when that "urge to merge" finally does hit, we want all of the details. We are such nosey people. Since I haven't had any, might as well read about it.... LOL
HP, I'm glad to hear all is peaceful in the Honey House. We, too, started talking Christmas this week! Your idea for a weekend getaway is a great one.
Nymph-sending a cyber nap to a very deserving HP.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
