How are things with you? I have only just managed to get back to the BB in some privacy after my sister left to go back home. But it was nice having her here for a week.
I was just wondering how you are geting on with your H back around you. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and send you my best wishes.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
It looks like H and I will be leaving on Thursday for China, I just found that out today. That is a definite step in the right direction that he values my input/opinion at least in business matters.
I ended up kind of pulling away from the bb for a while. While I def value and hold in high regard the advice that I get here,I just needed some time to think for myself. I felt like I was spending way too much time on the computer, and the sleepless night that I spent over someone's else M problem kind of put me over the edge into thinking that I needed to pull back.
So I will return, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I am sorry that I can only be a taker and not a giver right now, but we all have our seasons.
Pam, I'm glad to hear about your trip and hope that all goes well.
I understand what you mean about pulling away for a bit. Sometimes it's so depressing reading all the pain here. We all need a break once in awhile just to deal with our own.
I hope that your time with H opens some doors for the two of you.
Glad to hear about your trip, I hope it goes well, and think of me when you are enjoying some yummy food there too! (He he, I know you have better and more important things to think about!!)
Bon Voyage!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Hi Pam, by now you are packing madly and getting excited about your trip? I know what you mean about all the pain on this website, I had to take a break last week and read Michelle's articles and success stories.
It has been so long I actually had to look up my user name and password.
H and I returned today from our trip... we went to Hong Kong, mainland China and Tokyo. The purpose of our trip being to scout out new resources and manufacturing sites so that H can also do business in China (instead of just Brazil, and maybe God willing, Brazil will one day be a thing of the past.)
I could write for days on what those places were like, the culture, the people, the environment, the work ethic, the government..all so different from what we know here in the USA.
I really do feel that H and I are moving closer together, one tiny step at a time. And I continue to realize that OW is merely the symptom and not the problem. She managed to track us down while we were at our Hong Kong hotel, using H's expedia password. She called our room and I actually spoke to her on the phone, yeesh!
H calls her the "fatal attraction" as she is always using these whacked out manipulative juvenile tactics. After she found out that H and I were together she sent him an e-mail threatening suicide, what textbook OW behavior.
She is a desperate woman, that is for sure.
I snooped. I know, I know, bad dbing, but I found a photo of them in H's computer. I have to say it was sort of a relief, as she is not really that attractive and the two of them together just look ridiculous. Picture a 43 year old guy with his arm around a South American exchange student and you get the idea.
Long story short, I do not really know where the two of them stand as he tries to extricate himself from her (I think.) He goes back to Brazil in less than a week, but I think that I will try a "hands off" approach, rather than trying to micromanage his whereabouts.
For a Christmas gift he wants to take our boys to the Rosebowl in CA. I take that as a good sign.
Other good signs... he often held my hand or put his arm around me while we were together asked my business advice we 2x and he commented today that I was not supposed to be "having my friend" (H's words, not mine, for having my period) while we were gone, meaning he would have liked more H seems to be missing family life
I am sure that there is more, but I am getting sleepy. I look forward to getting caught up here on the bb.
Welcome back, Pamila! It really sounds like a giant step forward to me compared to Las Vegas....I'm glad. Did he really call her a "fatal attraction" ? ? That is good.
Quote: H calls her the "fatal attraction" as she is always using these whacked out manipulative juvenile tactics. After she found out that H and I were together she sent him an e-mail threatening suicide, what textbook OW behavior.
She is a desperate woman, that is for sure.
and
Quote: He goes back to Brazil in less than a week, but I think that I will try a "hands off" approach, rather than trying to micromanage his whereabouts.
Pam, what people (mostly Ellie!) made me see in my situation, is that the less I "interfered" with H and OW 2, the less pressure he felt from me, the more he will feel from the OW. From my point of view, I had said nothing specifically about OW ever, merely protected our D's interests, yet when things got shaky, H ranted at me that I had driven them apart...
The best thing you can do is keep your hands right off the situation - you don't even have the problem of your sons being inolved in any direct way with OW, so let their A come to it's own conclusion without any help from you. All you need do is be the completely irresistible alternative to OW!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
This whole jetlag thing is kicking my butt. Having to turn my whole schedule upside down again due to a 14 hr time diff is not easy.
Yes, GBO (great to hear from you by the way ) H does refer to OW as a fatal attraction.
I feel in my gut that one day she will be a thing of the past, but their A will have to come to its natural conclusion, not by any rules that I try to enforce. I also think that her childish antics will only serve to drive him father away.
But it is sort of freaky that she calls me on the phone and hangs up. She even left me a voicemail (after the Hong Kong call)saying she didn't know H and I were back together, she was sorry, she would never get back with him, blah blah blah etc. I'll believe it when I see it. She has way too much to lose by giving up her rich American sugar daddy.
In some ways I think that it is good that H and I are not living under the same roof. I don't have to get freaked every time his cell phone vibrates and I think it also gives him a chance to miss me and the boys.
It was so good to be together with him for those 12 or so days. I always sleep better when he is with me.
Of course I am the better alternative to OW, but there is some need that she met for him, I do realize that.
H has some stuff in his own head that he has to get straight though, it is not simply a choice between me or OW.
(He he, I know you have better and more important things to think about!!)
2x and he commented today that I was not supposed to be "having my friend" (H's words, not mine, for having my period) while we were gone, meaning he would have liked more 