Pam, just a note about seeing the OW's emails -- I was wondering if by asking you to look at them, your H is offering to make the whole thing less secret... If so, that is a very important step in your healing. See "After the Affair" by Janis Spring for more info. Or "Not Just Friends" by Dr. Shirley Glass.
On the financial stuff, is there an unbiased third party who could look at it for you and advise what it is that YOU should do? A CPA, lawyer, financial planner?
