Funny how quickly time passes, as here it is already another Sunday. Another Sunday of going to church w/o H, but oh well.

He mentioned something the other day about having been gone 4 months, and it is actually been 6, but I guess that H isn't counting the way that I am.

A huge blessing yesterday, my best friend, who is out of the country on sabbatical, called me up. She is not reachable by phone, so the last time I spoke to her was maybe in August, although we do e-mail about once a week. It was so good to talk to someone who knows me (and H) so well. We got to have about a 15 minute convo.

H brought the boys back for S12's football practice yesterday, then took them back again with him. While he was here we had lunch and then he decided to take a nap in our bed. He kissed me goodbye several times before he left, then called me again later in the afternoon for no particular reason.

I see oh so subtle progress at re-connecting.

It is hard to realize that I cannot directly change him, but I can change how I relate to him and thereby change the dynamic of the R. And I always need to remember that I need to get out of the way and let God work in H's life and mind. H is defenseless against my prayers and I can't even begin to tell you how many people are praying for H and our family.

I am doing even little things differently, like having a beer with my lunch, just to spark the idea in H's pea brain that something, anything, is different.

And I want him to feel safe and comfortable here.

It is too bad that this whole saga is fraught with the undertones of H's financial/business woes. But that seems to come with the package of H.

I am going to tell H today that if he really wants me to be involved in the business and needs my cooperation on some things, then I am going to need to sit down with the CFO of his company and discuss all of this in detail. I am going to need to hear all of the options and all of the possible outcomes. (And I want to hear it from someone less biased than H, but I am NOT going to say that to H).

Have a good day all, today is S12's last football game.

Pam