Ah, Pam. I wish I was there with you right now to give you a hug and a hand to hold. You sound so at sea. Spending the night at your H's must have been weird -- how wonderful that you had the oomph to pray for your H in the still of the night.
Putting it all back together is going to be a process. Is there someone you two can go to see together who can help you through? Like a minister or pastoral counselor? With all the facets of your sitch, it might be a real godsend to have an experienced third party's help.
I'm glad you have a place to rant. You are an exceptional person, Pam, and I admire your openness and honesty.
