I went our to dinner last night with my friend and had a really nice time. She also gave me some things to think about regarding H and this whole saga. I will elaborate later after I have had time to digest...
Anyway, long story short version, I was only 12 minutes away from H's house, so I dropped by there for a visit. Well I didn't realize that he had taken the kids there and all of them were in bed already including H. I had ASSumed that he was taking them out to dinner and then leaving them at our house.
I ended up just spending the night because I was tired and had had a glass of wine, and was not really up for the 50 minute drive back to my house.
It was weird. It just felt strange and I couldn't hardly sleep, so I decided I would just lay there and pray for H. Sometimes I would actually touch him with my hand while I was praying, but even though he was sleeping he would squirm away. I feel like he needs to be exorcized from the stink of OW which is still on him. I also kept thinking about all the nights he had spent alone in that bed having phone sex with OW.
I know, I need a stop sign, but like my friend DNO, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
I am just really overwhelmed by all this, if H is truly coming back this is going to be a lot more complicated of a process than I realized.
And the whole financial mess is another dimension of all this.
And what can one possibly do when your lover of 22 years is all of the sudden employing brand new sexual techniques. It is a little hard to sit back and enjoy the ride if you know what I mean.
And is there ever an appropriate time to ask about the status of OW? I really can't go on if he is still doling out 1500 bucks a month to support her while I am scrimping and pinching pennies to try and make our savings last.
I feel like putting up a big NO MORE OW sign in my front yard.
And I do know that OW is not the disease, she is only the symptom, but she is certainly a painful, obvious, festering sore.
