Already tonight H was at the computer, checking for something in the history and then asked me "what is divorce busting and why were you there today?"
My reply "It is just a website for people like me who don't want a divorce."
When he comes back I will need to be more careful.
He showed back up in our lives around 3, but left around 9 to go back to his own house, which is fine. The right time will be here soon I am convinced of that now.
I was sort of tip toeing around him emptionally and conversation wise, but after dinner we came into the office to talk business. At a certain point in time he was talking about some papers that I was going to need to sign and I finally just came out and asked him (after he saw the weird look on my face) "Is that why you are 'here' because of the needs of the business?"
So he ended up sharing some stuff with me that I will try to condense down.
*He has lost the respect and integrity of his business associates in Brazil who are aware of what is going on. He wants to be a man of integrity and a man of his word again.
*At the end of the day he was no better off with OW and was probably worse off
*He could tell how much he was hurting the kids (and me)
*he has put his business in jeopardy by being so messed up, distracted, and sidetracked by the OW sitch
*what was he even thinking going around in Brazil with some 26 year old girl?
*if he (and his business) are ever going to succeed then it is only going to happen with me as his support
*this one he had to think of how to put it, but it basically came out that while he thinks that our M is lacking in passion, he is willing to work to make passion happen
*he doesn't want to live in the past or be haunted by it, he wants to move forward
That is about it. He didn't stay the night but that is ok, I would rather get off to a fresh new start under good circumstances and not feel like we tried to force it.
As far as China, we may be leaving as soon as Saturday if we can get our visas by Friday.
Truly amazing how much has happened in the space of a week.
