Good morning all,

I am indeed feeling "prepared" for H's return, at least as prepared as I can be. I know from experience that when he arrives home from Brazil that he is exhausted both physically and mentally. It is a very long trip and he has been gone over 2 weeks now. He also has some major business streses right now so I am prepared for him to be in a bad humor, but I at least am realizing this upfront and will know not to take it personally.

I have also reached the conclusion that I need to ditch some of my pre-programmed responses. I have become aware of this thanks to S15 who is now repeating some of my responses before I even speak them, just because he knows them so well.

For example, when I tell S15 I am going to the store he knows that the next words out of my mouth are "...I will be back in ____ minutes. Is there anything that you need?"

Now there is some comfort in predictability I know. And I wouldn't want my kids to have a mom that was all over the map so to speak, but there are plenty more examples of these responses and I am sure that a few of them H finds annoying.

When he calls today from the airport in Brazil and aks how I am doing, I am going to reply "fabulous" rather than my typical "fine." When he asks why I am fabulous I will reply "because this guy I used to know is coming in from out of town and I am looking forward to seeing him again."

I think it is the little things that add up sometimes to a 180, it doesn't have to be a big huge explosion.

I also noticed last night when H called he sounded a little "funny" something that only a W would pick up. Kind of a combo of sad, tired, emotional and something I can't quite put my finger on. Sounds like trouble in paradise to me and if all were peachy there then why would he keep telling me that he ws ready to get the h*** out of there?


Slowly, if you are out there I have a question for you. At the end of my last thread you mentioned that you could guarantee that H's wake up call would come soon. Can you clarify for me what you meant by that?

thanks

Pam