My worse nighmare happened and therefore my hopes and dreams died.
I see alot of positives in your situation. Your H has waivered back and forth alot and hopefully he will come out of his fog before something horrible happens.
I've been on this site for over two and half years and haven't a clue how to find all my old threads. Long story short...my X went to work in Rio for a large company. I was to join him soon after our daughter was married and we would return to the States after the project was finished. That would be about 3-4 years.
Six months into his stay there, he met the OW at a bar and kept making excuses for me to delay my trip. I was very naive and believed him and when I finally got tired of his excuses, he let the BOMB drop.
I was totally devestated because he was so far away, I could do nothing to save the marriage, he wanted her and that was it. He left and never looked back, we were married 32 years. They have been married over a year now.
He was told by the company before he went to be very leery of the women down there, as they are trained from the time they are born to get to the US. My X admitted to me that he was approached before he ever left the airport.
My divorce was not the only one that happened on this project, there were several more. Sad isn't it.
I'm not making excuses for them, but its such an exotic senual place; nothing like our culture. Anything goes. I really felt like my X, started going to the bars and one thing lead to another and that's how it began.
He is suppose to come back to the states toward the end of the year and eventually, he tells the kids, he will settle in Brazil.
Honey, just hang in there and do what you can to DB. I really didn't think I would survive, I'm 54 and my family and husband were my life; but, I'm going to be okay. Life will be different for sure, but will be okay.
The only other thing I would say is... if your situation comes to a D...look out for yoursef first. I was so worried about making him mad, that I didn't make some good decisions regarding the divorce settlement. I kept thinking he would come to his senses and come home.
I'm over in Surviving the Big D forum now. Don't post as much anymore, but keep up with some friends.
