I dont have any kids of my own, so I would feel silly taking a parenting class! But yesterday was a much better day, I prayed in the morning....think that helped. Plus I think it was also PMS!!
Well, I did some thinking last night and I think maybe I am getting back into the dependency thing again. H seems to be pulling back sometimes lately, (or maybe its just me imagining it) Anyways, I have decided that I will back off..give him some space, be how I was when affair was going on...before he decides to back off himself and not come back. So, tonight when he goes out, gonna tell him to have good time, hug and kiss him and see him tomorrow...then go and do my own thing. I dont want to fall back into the codependent way I was before, so I guess this will also be my way of gaining my own ground. Maybe I am just letting all the feelings I had kept inside for so long resurface, but still keeping them to myself. But I think that is why I keep feeling sad, angry, a little depressed. Before I was numb to all these feelings, so now that things have been going pretty well with us for 3.5 months, I am no longer numb and am feeling all the things I needed to feel at the time. So maybe this is my time to "take some time" for me. Well, I guess we will see....I need to do some more reading, that always seems to help!
