You are probably right. I would only cause him pain and he would start backing away from me. I am a stronger person becuause of all of this and I dont NEED him, I just want him. A fellow DBer and I have been going back and forth about this lately, how we wonder if we should talk about things or not. WEll, I will have her read your posts and see what she thinks. I guess what I have come to discover is that its still not a level or even a downsloped hill yet, its still a roller coaster ride...not with my H, but with my feelings of what has happened and what will happen. I found this thing on MB the other day.... I tend to focus my attention on the present and the future, because they are what we can all do something about. The past is over and done with. Why waste our effort on the past when the future is upon us. Granted, it's useful to learn lessons from the past, but if we dwell on the past, we take our eyes off the future which can lead to disaster.
I typed it up and put it on my fridge, so not only I can see it, but my H can see it and see that I am moving forward and that I do forgive him for what he did.
Ok, so now my issue I think is anger. I have a daycare and have been having little or no patience with the kids. I get upset over little things. When H was having affair, I was much more patient with kids, so what is happening to me now? Could it be that I held in my anger the whole time H was with OW, that now its coming out and I am directing it at the kids instead of H?? What other ways can I deal with this....its so not fair to these poor kids who didnt do anything. Maybe just keep journaling my feeling will help..I dont know, but today I was scaring myself...I dont like this person!
