Okay, here is the letter I have come up with..so let me know what you think...honestly, we do need to talk...i feel like we were about 10 months ago..not really talking about anything....even 3 months ago things between us were better..so...really I have nothing to lose...right?
H,
I know you said you were going to try to work on our marriage, but I feel like I am really the only one doing any trying. I feel hurt that you are not letting me into your life by sharing your days or things about your jobs or any decisions you are making, with me. Communication is a big part of making a relationship work. Remember how we got to where we are now? By not talking about how we were feeling or things that were bothering us or even simple things about our days. We need to talk about things even if we think they are going to hurt or make the other person angry. It is then that we can work on those things and put them behind us. I know I still need to work on not letting what you say affect the way I feel, but it has been a life long habit and I am really trying hard to work on it.
I am trying to do all the things that I think you need and want from me, but really, unless you tell me or give me your input, I have no idea if anything I am trying is even working or right. Just like I used to expect you to read my mind and know what I needed or wanted all the time, I now know that is not possible. It is ok to ask for what we want and need. Maybe we could set aside one hour each week to sit down and talk about the needs of ours that are either getting met or not getting met. I think this could really help us to start movind forward instead of staying stuck where we are right now. I am not saying we have to rush into anything, just that if we practice talking about certain things, eventually, it will come natural and we wont have to worry about setting aside a time to talk. I know that I am just as much at fault as you are about avoiding problems, hoping they will go away, but thats not how it works. I have always been afraid of making you upset, but I guess sometimes we have to take that chance that someone may get hurt or upset, but thats ok. We are both entitled to our own feelings and we are free to choose which things are really worth getting upset about and which things we should just let slide. Honestly, that is what I have been doing lately, because whether you realize it or not, some of your actions and words lately have been very hurtful. Instead of letting myself get hurt by them, I have decided to just let them go. H, I dont want to lose the love that I have left for you, which is why I have decided to bring all of this stuff to the surface. As hard as it is for me to talk about things, is what I need to do to keep our relationship heading in a positive direction and to get us both back to where we would like to be in this relationship.
