Quote: If I understand the timeline correctly, you had the affair during the time of the miscarriage.
It started after the birth of daughter #2, actually... which was 2 years after the miscarriage.
Quote: Rhetorically, let me ask you this. What would you be feeling right now if the roles were reversed, and your wife had done these things to you? Would you still be there?
I can't answer this because I've never been in that situation, nor do I want to take a guess at it because the point is moot and I'd be wrong. I fully believe that people should not comment on hypothetical circumstances in which they have not been personally involved in the past.
Quote: Your wife does not believe that you want her. She doesn't believe that you will stay with her. I would venture a guess that she has questioned her choice of fathers for her children - many times. I would also venture to guess that she has a well thought out exit strategy, possibly one that includes an affair. Chris, I don't even believe that you really want her
You're probably right on several accounts, but there's nothing that I/she/we can do to change the past and undo the harmful events. The only thing she (and all of us) can do is work on making the future better somehow. I've forgiven myself for the affair and am moving on with my life.
It wouldn't surprise me to learn that she's a WAW who will cut and run when the kids are older, especially since she has a good job and makes more money than I do. I don't believe that she still wants me either... it's just more convenient to stay together for right now. In 5 years, who knows.
