Don't be too hard on yourself we all do things we normally wouldn't in situations like the ones we find ourselves in. You say you have suggested a marriage counselor...but have you suggested, or have you asked her to go with you? The reason I make the differentiation in this is from my own experience with my LDH.
I mentioned to him (prior to his getting counseling) that I'd like for him to go to a C with me several times, so that we could work through our current problem. He always blew that off...until I told him very matter-of-fact that if we didn't seek out help with our problems that we wouldn't be having another anniversary.
Now, that was what it took for him to take me seriously...that doesn't mean that's the approach that will work with your W. When I left it to him to make the C appt. he didn't. For some reason he just couldn't make himself do that...he finally asked me to make the appointment and let him know when it was...which was fine, whatever it took to get us there.
I guess what I'm saying is...you need to make the appointment and then tell your wife you would like her to go with you.
I was also very careful not to point blame when I was suggesting a C for us...I told him I'd like "us" to go to a C to work on "our" problem.
It's just a though....like someone else said on these BB's there are many approaches to our problems, what worked for me may not be the best approach for you.
