I've been kind of busy - had a halloween party for the kids yesterday afternoon, then H + I went to a friend's house to eat last night.
H has been walking around like a sick puppy all week. He basically avoids me unless he absolutely has to talk. I've been pleasant, but I haven't been seeking him out.
Last night before we left (he was out all day - he's getting a specialization, taking courses) he said 'I'm in a bad mood, I've been depressed all week. I just thought I'd let you know'
When we got into the car, I tried to bring it up. We did talk a little, found out, as I suspected that when I yelled, he just shut down - 'I just figured, here she goes again', when I tried to continue, calmly, H turned the radio up.
We had a wonderful dinner, and good conversation with our friends and one other couple, a few times I found myself seeing the man I married...When we got in the car to get home, H turned to me and said 'Have you ever considered learning a few basics of the Finnish language' To his credit, he didn't interrupt me during dinner, but he wasn't sitting next to me, either.
I wasn't sure how to respond, and said as much, he continued, I asked him how he would feel if I asked him to learn English after we had had a nice night out with my friends, he said 'How do you think I feel when you yell'. and turned on the radio, rather loud.
So. I've been just doing some soul-searching. I need time to think about my part in this, and to keep myself strong so I don't 'take his bait'. I now have a number for a C, and I'll call on Mon., at least go once (She's an hr. away)
I haven't been here much, 'cause I really feel I need to work things out alone right now. I'll stop in from time to time.
