Just thought I'd update.

I felt pretty lousy after this weekend, I was feeling that I must still be very fused to be so upset over the general mood. Actually, what was bothering me most was the kids. And wondering if I've wasted the past 10 yrs (I'm trying, trying to get that one out of my head real fast)

I sent H an e-mail yesterday, said basically that in spite of my 'clumsy' attempts to try to work on things, I really didn't want to think of him as the enemy.

I also said that I was glad he had gotten a chance to spend good time with the kids, and I enjoyed watching them together. But, that I held to my position that yelling at them as he does was abuse.

I asked him too, where I stand, what he wants. I said that I felt as though he's just shut me out, and doesn't seem to want to work on anything.

He did lean over and give me a kiss on the cheek this morning, but he has only spoken to me when absolutely neccesary.

I've gotten a number for a counselor. After this weekend, I really feel as though I need to talk with someone.

NOPkins, I haven't forgotten your advice, I'm just not sure how to go about it right now. It would have to wait till this weekend anyway, so there would be time to leave it and go back if neccesary.