FocusedFlutist wrote <<<I said it would be nice if we could have some family time, H accused me of turning my simple question into something more, I agreed that that's what it sounded like and stopped. This was kinda light friendly banter.>>>
FocusedFlutist: Do you think your H takes the banter as 1. transitive senses: to speak to or address in a witty and teasing manner) or 2. intransitive senses : to speak or act playfully or wittily)? as you put it
If he is hearing it the first way and you mean it to sound like the second way then you have miss communications.
I have this problem with my W. Sometimes it seems I have to explain what the word "is" means (humor about Pres Clinton). Simpler is better with us men, well that is what I read in a book. Maybe my W and your H fit the description in the book. Who knows?
<<<H laughed, and gave me a hug. The convo ended there>>> From what I rember, your H has a pattern of doing something like this (not answering your questions). I think you deserve an answer to a direct question like that. I know you do not want to start a fight with your H and understand why you left it at that.
If you said you were asking the question, not to put him on a spot so to speak, but that you were trying to make the relationship operate "smoother" and what ever answer he gave you, you would accept it at face value. Would that help you.
Also you might say "What are the top 3, nearly correct or approximate reasons you do or do not want to do X with me?" "They do not have to be perfect and I will respect them as your opinion at this point in time."
By him not giving you an answer, he does not have to be acountable for anything you just asked him. He can go any direction he chooses.
Kind of like, Today I want a black car, tomorrow I want a white car. But I am not going to tell you. You try to give him a gerrn car, a blue car, and a red car on different days of the week. You get it wrong everytime. I think a book called that a moving target.
I get something like this with my W when we go out to eat. She would say "it's up to you." We would pull into a parking lot ( or is that a car park in Europe?). She would start to talk about problems we might have eating there. I would drive to the next plase and she would come up with other reasons for not eating there.
Now I ask her to name her top 3 places to eat considering what we have to spend and told her If she did not pick "one place" and and I did pick "one place", she could mot make any comments about why that was not the right place to go.
Comment of mine about not having interest in Pro sports in general) I do not know who is going to win the world series, just hoping you get past first base and beyond with your H. I think everyone that wants an EC with a spouse should make a home run at least once a week, IUNWIM. Not letting you play the game for some technical (strict or legal interpretation)reasons SUCK BIG TIME! You deserve a grand slam
{{{{{FF}}}}} from a guy that gets to play ball at least sometimes.
