Quote: Don't waste your energy trying to figure out why H resents you, and don't try to make him figure this out either. He sounds emotionally repressed to begin with and is probably clueless as to why he acts the way he does towards you. Right now you want the behavior to change...the analysis part does come into play eventually as the behaviors change.
IHJ,
I think I agree with you here. I really think that H doesn't know why he acts like he acts, and I don't think there is really any 'one' particular event which triggered things. I suspect it's a general being unable to deal with my emotions, feeling inadequate in the providing/nuturing area.
Which means that HP is probably right when she says
Quote: If he is asking you, as your husband, to be more cheerful and less complaining then don't you think you should take that seriously?
Yeah. I have been working on this, and I'm sure I can still do better. The thing last night threw me off, because, really, I felt I was being pleasant - it's not as though he's never complained about a concert we've attended together! But, I have given him a lot to think about over the past few days, and if I'm stressed, of course, he must be as well.
Thanks, HP for sharing the anecdote about your H. Gives me a sense of hope!
