Don't waste your energy trying to figure out why H resents you, and don't try to make him figure this out either. He sounds emotionally repressed to begin with and is probably clueless as to why he acts the way he does towards you. Right now you want the behavior to change...the analysis part does come into play eventually as the behaviors change.
Right now you have to call him on any disrespectful behavior and keep at the message of adding physical intimacy to the picture. Come up with a behavioral plan to "work" at this.
I believe your H is in pain and married you because he did not want to "grin and bear it." Certainly you were able to overcome the cultural differences in the beginning of your relationship! Remind him of your fun and spirited side ( remind yourself as well).
Your H is a difficult nut to crack because he is so entrenched in his negative views. Underneath, he doesn't want to be there but he can't see the world any other way. Your persistence may not be enough; it takes a lot of energy and you lead a very busy life. Consider getting professional help ( I know there was a reason why you couldn't, but rethink that).
