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What's up with the chocolate-eating in bed? What kind of chocolate is it? Is he an obese man? There's only one thing I want to eat in bed, and I haven't been able to do that for years.




HD, I've wondered about this chocolate thing, too. Obese? not really, could stand to loose about 40lbs, though. This reading/eating in bed started about a year ago, if I remember correctly. What really gets me is that the first thing he does in the morning is step on the scale. I suspect it's another defense mechanism like Lilli said sort of screaming 'I'm NOT going to let you in!!! 'You CAN'T make me have sex with you' Either that, or he figures if I'm overweight, he's goining to be too, so neither of us can have any fun.

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The third thing to do is just act on your impulses and attack your spouse/SO for sex when you want it. Just Do It. If you get rebuffed, you can use it against your spouse in the future. If you don't, you get some nookie. Seems like a win-win sitch to me.




Chris,

First, I have tried to make it very obvious that I want sex with H. Short of tieing him to the bed and jumping on him (ok, down guys ) right now that approach isn't working. Hold it against him?? I'm trying to do away with resentment, on both sides. Holding grudges is definately going to cause more problems than it's going to solve.


IHJ,

I'm hoping too that while I say right now I'm doing this for the kids, that at some point I'll be wanting to stay for love as well. I keep telling myself that once we get past the defenses and the resentment there must be something good in there...