FocusedFlutist I like the positive attitude your name change portrays.
In some of your posts you said the subject of nit picking came up. I have that in my M also.
W is a big time spender. She goes for all of the heavly advertised products she sees on TV and especially the shopping channel, QVC.
Today she comes home with popcorn maker #6. It is metal and has a stir crank in the handle. It has a butter melter in the lid. She made a batch of corn and asked me why it was kind of not fluffy and a little tough. I reminded her that microwave popcorn maker #3 was set up that way and did the same thing. Then I sinned. I asked her why she bought popcorn maker #6 because popcorn maker #3 was designed the same way and did the same thing.
Her reply was "pick, pick, pick, that is all you do." I said to W; "there are statements seeking more information, statements stating my preference, statements suggesting changes I would like to see, and statements of criticising. "In this case I was seeking information." Things got so poor R wise, we both heard things like information statements as criticisms.
On another post here on DB, someone had some insight about the other S's commitment state of mind or style, a book that might be of interest to you. I am looking for a used copy.
"Boundaries in Marriage" by Cloud and Townsend. "Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders". Renters are angry and try to convince another person that they are right. Buyers only want to be in a marriage where it is mutually satisfying and are willing to give up a marriage when the other person isn't interested. The Freeloaders part I did not look up on the net.
I see a lot of things that work on paper or in theory but I have trouble making them work in our R. So far I have managed to differentiate and HOM. Making a little progress.
We do IC about 1 or 2X a month, she just wants a back rub, not really into IC. Got invited to SLEEP back in her bed since I did something about my snoring and implementing some of the things I read in the books listed on the BB.
W told me that dog #3 was used to sleeping next to her and I had to be considerat of dog #3 feelings about bring displaced. Nothing new to me, always felt I ranked somewhere between the last cat and gold fish anyway (12 pets).
Not complaining, just feeling a little down. Summing up what W thinks about the importance of pets. W="Pets love you unconditionally, people expect too much"
