FF wrote: ------------ So what do I do?? What went wrong? Should I just consider this normal 'fireworks'? I have tried my best to be here while all these backslides are happening, I've done my best to remain pleasant, make H's breakfast every morning, get his lunch, make him snacks at night, say goodbye to him in the morning... ------------
Of course it is fireworks, but do you remember the part about fixing your stuff as it comes up?
Right now, you have changed the dynamics of the relationship. You have introduced energy into an otherwise steady-state system. That means the system is going to change by seeking out a new balance. This is all basic common sense, and completely to be expected.
Back to respect for a minute. He is not acting out of respect by blaming you for all of his pain, ignorance, and lack of responsibility. It is also not his fault for yours. One of the easier aspects of respect to forget is 'personal responsibility'. HE is responsible for his actions, you for yours.
For a while, you might have to be a shining example of 'doing it right' for your husband. I know you are about out of energy, but you are the one here, so you get to go first.
You should be encouraged, even in the midst of the turmoil. Change is afoot! I am already beginning to like your husband a bit. I think he has some serious potential to be genuine 'good guy'. He just needs to be called up to the task.
I know this is hard, but try your best not to take the process so personally. Get plenty of rest. Start exercising. It will help a lot. Try your best to smile and exude love toward your husband, even if it makes him mad :-) He won't be able to resist for long.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
