It seems that the conversations in your M are degenerating into "he said, she said" and neither of you walks away satisfied that you made your point to the other. Now, as JJ mentioned, is your H correct in his assessment of things? Or, is he blind to anything that's not "his way?"
Perhaps your 4 beautiful children are "messing with your karma." In other words, are the kids "messing up the kitchen" and destroying your H's orderly world? Are they "trashing up" your car? H needs to understand that if it were just the 2 of you (no kids), things would be clean and orderly, as he likes it. However, you BOTH decided that you wanted children, and you knew that that would change your world. Sometimes, no matter how a parent tries to keep things neat, clean, and orderly, the children just have their own plan.
I don't want to sound like I'm blaming the children for anything. I'm pointing out that children make life more "interesting" most of the time.
Do you think that H "regrets" having children now that he knows what they're all about?
OK, so there are many issues. Lack of respect is a BIG issue in my own M (my W doesn't have much for me), and I know how it feels to live with someone who doesn't hear you when you speak. I have learned to "let things go" and not react negatively to them. It keeps the peace.
