We managed to agree that alot of this stuff is cultural - he gets upset because I act in a way very normal to Americans, but not to Finns.
You are certainly holding onto yourself, culturally anyway. You don't sound the slightest bit Finnish. That's probably a good thing.
Quote: H brought up stuff that happend 5, 10 yrs ago,
That kind of things drives me to distraction when my W does it, particularly when it is meant to wound.
I know an American flute player who just married a German and lives in Germany. I wonder of she is having your problems (although I doubt she would have married him in that case! )
)