Sometimes, I think that my actions will be interpreted as selfish, and therefore I don't want to tell my W what I'm doing. Other times, I tell my W what I'm doing, and she either doesn't remember or she has tuned me out. I never know which way to go.
Most of the time, these "battles" will occur with something that is my responsibility. For instance, finances are MY job since Day 1 of the M. Now, 12 years later, I would be upset if my W refused to sign a form to set up a credit line or money transfer. Why? Because she has NEVER shown an interest in helping me manage the finances. Now that I have shown her a form, she wants to know what it's for and why we need it?? Grrrrrr. Red flag.
So, even though it's your car, maybe you've never seemed to care about it until now. H seems upset because you blindsided him with wanting to be involved this time. He's not wanting to let you do that because you've never wanted to do that before. You should find some way to talk about it, of course.
And all of this is just my guessing at your sitch. The hot tub sounds nice.
