Your H might not be an alcoholic, but he sure is a CHOCOholic.
It sounds like a good plan... become more "independent" and able to be on your own, if need be. Keep in mind that it will take many months (if not years) for this to happen. In the meantime, you still need to cohabitate with H. This gives you the perfect opportunity to keep working on the LM issues.
At some point, you will decide that either you CAN be on your own or you CAN'T. If you CAN'T, then you need to compromise with H and find a "good place to be" for yourself. Find ways to go out by yourself at night, leaving H to watch the kids. Meet friends for a drink at a comedy club or a sports bar or something. Be happy on your own, if only for a few hours. Concentrate on being a greater mom for the kids. H will have to fend for himself more.
