Yes, a counselor is a good idea. Go for it...for YOURSELF. And hey, it's just fine that you choose not to listen to him when he's being angry or hateful to you. That's a valid boundary. Just as he has decided not to take you seriously when you talk about the lack of sex...that's his boundary, although, given the fact that you are in a committed relationship, I tend to think his boundary is not reasonable.
Keep the pressure on, FF. And stop taking his crap.
