Quote: I had a conversation in my head were I brought up that I love my kids, don't want to break up the family, but I don't want to be celibate for the rest of my life either. Thing is, it even sounds selfish to me.
Hiya FF...
First off, I hope you are fully enjoying your visit with your family! My parents had me in their late 40's, and I know that part of the loss I feel right now as they struggle with their health is entirely selfish-- I will miss having the only people in the world who I know really have my best interests at heart.
Once again, I think you did a fine job of bringing the sex issue to the forefront, and I feel that is what it is going to take from you....consistent effort in the face of his negative attitudes.
I highlighted the above quote from your post because it's something that I struggle with too...would I really break up the family because of my sexual/emotional needs? It makes no sense to make empty threats and you have to feel the conviction of your words. The tact I have used is the one mentioned here before, about wanting to "model" a healthy relationship for the kids so that they have a better chance of finding happiness themselves. I have emphasized how kids need to see parents hugging, kissing and being warm and affectionate towards one another to balance the inevitable conflicts and difficulties they observe. And observe they do...more than we even realize. Perhaps this is the angle you can stress in your interactions with H.
