Well, our guests have arrived, so there's a aura of chaos at the flute household right now

The day they arrived, H + the boys and I went to the airport to meet them, we all had lunch together before we went to work. H was talking to me in the condescending way that I suddenly realized he uses towards me when we're with my family (I'm not the only one that notices it). My Dad also just pointed out to me that S4a seems to be the only one who stands up to his dad. So I guess the kids are more affected by him then I've wanted to notice.

Anyway...I was finally in a good mood last night, and we got to bed early enough that I didn't feel like just falling asleep. So I thought it would be a good time to bring up the 'experiment'

As usual, H was in bed armed with book and chocolate. So again I playfully sided up to him, and mentioned somthing about the chocolate. We talked about how we've been rather 'cool' the past few days - H complained that I was whining and I said that I was just trying to avoid his lousy mood...this was actually done in a sort of friendly way so not quite as bad as it sounds.

I got it 'turned around' saying that it would be nice if we could use this time to connect, that we could try to spend some time tallking nicely to each other. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went but I said 'What if we tried to ML once a week, in the beginning we could just cuddle for the first few times...'

H 'This is your silly thing again'

M'What is so silly about wanting to ML with you? Isn't that what married people do?'

That was about the end...so at least now I can be pretty sure that H is not a 'closet HD' I had a conversation in my head were I brought up that I love my kids, don't want to break up the family, but I don't want to be celibate for the rest of my life either. Thing is, it even sounds selfish to me. I know it shouldn't be, why can't I have all of that, family, kids and sex (or at least a loving R with H)? But it sounds like I'm saying that I'm going to break up the family for sex...

I know it's not just sex, but at this point it feels like some kind of intimacy might help the other areas as well, but then who knows? I certainly don't have any experience to back me up...

Ok, I'll stop for now. I'm ok right now, I've got family around me for a few more days. I do envy you that have family near by. I don't really talk about things with them, but it's nice to have somebody around that you know is on your side.