J~ This post really spoke to me. It is exactly where I am at, except for the trapped hogwash that MW was experiencing.
But the earlier part about being ready for battle, every time, and not being afraid--that is precisely what has been being worked out in my home for the last year or so. I think the temptation is there, when things first begin improving, to just accept the changes as they are and not push for anything else--after all, things are SO MUCH better than they were, right?
But to truly achieve a great level of intimacy, you gotta keep pushing. Pushing your partner and yourself.
And I can say from experience that saying I will not tolerate a sexless marriage (and, furthermore, here is what I will do if it continues..) is indeed liberating.
My H wholeheartedly agreed with me...Oh no dear I wouldn't expect you to tolerate a sexless marriage. But then he would turn around and offer up every excuse in the book as to why it wasn't a good time. He had a very hard time integrating his THOUGHTS and his ACTIONS on the matter. He still does at times. The good feelings he had for me during his week of vacation are now gone. They have been replaced with job stress. Since I can't have sex anyway I am just sitting back and observing, in a bemused sorta way.
Anyway, just wanted to tell you that this post, and the one on trading for sex, were brilliant and right on the money.
