As far as the sex goes, I think I'll trust him to take charge of that for a while too. I probably need to learn how to let myself be pursued as much as my H needs to learn how to pursue. ---------------
Now might be a good time to talk to him about that job of his. That brutal travel schedule isn't helping anybody. It would be tough on the most solid M. Even if he can't do anything about it, he might like to know that you want him around more often.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
JustJenny wrote: --------------- Apparently, my H does too. He just called to tell me he's going to do whatever he has to do to win my heart. He said I should point out any inappropriate behavior to him right when it happens because he is going to do his best to address all of it. I told him that I was very happy to hear that and I thought with time I could get to a place where I would be less fearful for our future and therefore more committed to our relationship.
As far as the sex goes, I think I'll trust him to take charge of that for a while too. I probably need to learn how to let myself be pursued as much as my H needs to learn how to pursue. JustJenny is a lot mellower than Mojo could manage. ---------------
This is all good. I am very happy for you.
Don't be surprised when his unruly 'inner child' shows up, just deal with it the best you can and let time do some work on your husband.
I was listening to a Gillian Welch song last night and it had me - yep, Mr. tough guy- in tears. The title is "Time (The Revelator)". The words to the song are a bit cryptic, but the title says it all.
I also have to confess that when you told me that I had made you cry, I cried too. I really do want you two to make it.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
((((JJ)))) Hang in there sistah, your man is giving you a lot to think about. I'm praying for you and Mr. Mojo.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
I'm wondering how the dynamics of your R with Mr JJ would be different if you lived under the same roof all the time. I'm not familiar with your history-- has he always traveled a lot? I remember that when my husband used to travel, I felt like our phone convos were some of our best. We related extremely well on the phone. (We never did have phone sex.) But I'm thinking about your pattern of intimacy on the phone, and the phone calls where you tell him something, then he reacts by saying something else and/or hanging up, then he calls back later after he has thought through his response, then leaves you to think THAT over. What do you think it would be like if you saw each other in person and had the details of daily life to contend with every day? Would that help or hinder the HD/LD dynamics?
Quote: That brutal travel schedule isn't helping anybody. It would be tough on the most solid M. Even if he can't do anything about it, he might like to know that you want him around more often.
I a weird way I think his travel schedule has actually been helpful in resolving our difficulties in that it has had the effect of concentrating our efforts. A couple weeks ago my H told me "I'm sure you experience a certain guilty pleasure in my absence." and he was right. His behavior made him "more trouble than he was worth" in some ways. Now I was able to tell him that I really do wish he would get a new job when his contract is up because I'm looking forward to being around him more now that he's committed to being civil and loving.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
