If you two want to have sex, set a mutually agreed upon boundary that requires adult behavior, no exceptions.
Just my opinion.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Quote: Mr.Who-am-I included in his first point: He has never been the pursuer but the one pursued. ---------------
Perhaps no sex right now would help him "find himself".
Hey Barn,
I'm going to give you points for this one. I'm pretty sure that wasn't my motivation but I think it would be a good point to bring up with my H. He said his drive was low because he wasn't the pursuer, so maybe part of what he needs to do to 'differentiate" is learn how to pursue. Sexually and in general.
Thanx!
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Holy S**t, JJ, does he know what he is doing? That "separating" is synonymous with "walking away?" Of course he wants to ML now, he unloaded all of the pressure. The DB discussion boreds are full of separated people having sex. Ironic, isn't it?
You might tell him that the most progress is made in relationships when the two individuals act as intimate partners. That means, in your opinion, that separation is counterproductive to the M. (BTW, you know now that his work schedule is death to your M, don't you?)
You might also tell him that Jenny is an old fashioned gal who would never dream of dropping her knickers for a fella who will not commit himself to her.
Hugs and fish oil capsules,
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
NoMoMojo/MegaMojo/GeneralMojo/JustJenny gave me points for a comment? ME?
Look out, folks. The moon must be in the 7th house and Jupiter aligned with Mars. Expect earthquakes, volcanic activity and various other natural disasters to follow.
JJ, As I said in an earlier post, he never put himself out there, passively went along with life, resented himself and your control. So now, he is doing exactly the opposite in an effort to grow and have more self respect. His need to separate from you has an adolescent quality to it...why can't he work on these changes with you in an intimate way?
might just be.... as there are earthquakes in Cali just two days ago, rumors that Mt. St Helens in WA is about to blow again and hurricanes, tornadoes and floods in the East...
JJ: Hang in there ((((((Jenny))))) don't know what I would do in your sitch right now either.
there are earthquakes in Cali just two days ago, rumors that Mt. St Helens in WA is about to blow again and hurricanes, tornadoes and floods in the East... ------------
I think it's quite normal that he wants to boink her.
He senses her pulling away because of all his revelations and so now he is going to simultaneously try and pull her back in, while telling her that he might leave her. It is classic Mr. Wilson, if you ask me.
Jenny, just be true to yourself. If you are not feeling any desire for him (due to his emotional upheaval not being all that attractive and him trying to unload his sh!t on you yet again) then don't do anything. At some point, he will either commit to being an emotionally and physically engaged PARTNER to you, or he will carry on with his life of distance and solitude.
At that point, you will have all the info you need to decide.
Quote: I think that separation is a bad idea right now.
Apparently, my H does too. He just called to tell me he's going to do whatever he has to do to win my heart. He said I should point out any inappropriate behavior to him right when it happens because he is going to do his best to address all of it. I told him that I was very happy to hear that and I thought with time I could get to a place where I would be less fearful for our future and therefore more committed to our relationship.
As far as the sex goes, I think I'll trust him to take charge of that for a while too. I probably need to learn how to let myself be pursued as much as my H needs to learn how to pursue. JustJenny is a lot mellower than Mojo could manage.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
