I feel like I've lived 16 years emotionally in the last 6 mos. OTOH my whole marriage up to that point now seems like one long nightmare (except for the parts that include the kids).

So after telling me he thought we ought to "separate" in some way so that he could become less emotionally dependent (fused) on me, my H called me this morning to share some more theories he's come up with about our relationship. The conversation was rather odd since I was making a pointed effort to not influence his thought/decision process. Trying not to respond in that way had the effect of emotionally dulling my reaction to the convo.

The overall feeling I got from him during this convo was that he was trying to talk himself into staying married to me. He said he thought that if he was able to become less emotionally dependent on me, he would like me better because he wouldn't be so overwhelmed by me. The general tone of the convo was actually pretty light.

HERE IS THE WEIRD PART

He called me back later and said "I was wondering what your position was on sex during this interim (while he's deciding if he wants to choose to stay with me).". I realized that I didn't want to have sex with him so I said "I don't think it would be a good idea.". He said "I realize the irony of my position, but I really didn't want to hear that. I was thinking of calling you for a "date" tonight when it suddenly dawned on me that it might not be appropriate under the circumstances.". I said my immediate reaction that it would not be a good idea had something to do with my feeling that he needed to court me. He said "I don't like that. That makes it seem like a reward and punishment situation.". I told him I would think about why I feel like I shouldn't have sex with him and get back to him about it.

So for the first time in our almost 17 year relationship, he wants to have sex with me more than I want to have sex with him.

Don't worry. I'm not becoming LD . I am still sexually attracted to my H and I'm actually pretty horny since it's been 3 days. I need advice because I don't know why I don't think it would be a good idea to have sex with my H while we're "separated". Would somebody please explain me to me and tell me whether I'm right or wrong to feel this way and why I might feel this way. Just to simplify matters, I will tell you that I'm not angry and I'm not doing some sort of revenge.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver