I am amazed at his level of digging deep into himself.
Here is my opinion and you can take it fwiw: I would listen very closely to what he is saying about the resentment stuff and discard the rest. Yesterday he was really disclosing a lot about himself and saying that he has been LD in past R's and even had no desire to see naked boobies. Then last night, he's back to assigning the reason for his LD to other people and other circumstances.
My H still does this, incidentally. Or, here is what he does..his definition of desire levels is based solely and completely on frequency. That is, if he wants sex 3-4 times per week then he has a high sex drive and compares himself favorably with other men out there. The fact that he doesn't think about sex during the day, doesn't have sexual thoughts when he sees me, oftentimes has to gear himself up for sex or is easily put off the whole thing doesn't mean diddly to him. The fact that he DOES want it on certain days is what he bases the whole thing on.
Now, for me, having a high libido'd man means more than frequency..it means having a man who wants me and thinks about me and looks forward to our sex life. Simply being willing several times per week--and enjoying those times--does not make you HD. It does make you a lower drive person who is motivated to please your partner and has a lot of love for them.
I think your H is going through a lot of turmoil right now and I would let him sift through it and not assign a whole lot of meaning to anything he says until he comes to a point of clarity for himself. Right now, I think he is grasping at a lot of things and trying to make sense of the last 15 yrs and what they have meant to his development. I'm not saying that what he said isn't true..I'm saying that it may continue to change and shape itself as time goes on.
And that ego of his will continue to try and come up with reasons that support his desperation to not be an LD man. H cringes when/if I say that he is because he just can't see that a man who wants sex at all can be LD.
In the end, it doesn't really matter. It still boils down to what he is willing to give and what I am willing to live with.
Sounds like things are going well for you and that onion just keeps getting smaller and smaller, eh!
