Quote: It is as empty as a fart, the only briefly lingering substance of it being a regrettable stench
In spite of being a child of the 60's, I never had this kind of sex. I've been intimate with 12 men in my life. Only two of them were one-or-two-times-only, and both of those were long-time very good friends where the romance just didn't work out. All of the others were part of on-going relationships. As I've said before, the best, continuous, reliably good sex I ever had was with a man I was not in love with, but whom I loved. There was chemisty, we were perfectly in sync, our bodies knew what to do-- like being with the perfect dance partner. We discontinued the intimate part of our relationship because I DID want love-- the "in love" kind. (We stayed friends.) I found love with my husband, but I never found that kind of sex again and still haven't.
The kind of sex I had with his man was not "just sex." Unless what Nureyev and Fonteyn did was "just dance" or what the Guarneri String Quartet does is "just play music." It wasn't just mechanics and technique any more than John Williams just plucks nylon and steel stretched across an old wooden box.
Frankly, NOP, your statement is a gratuitous insult to your former lovers, even if all you had was "just sex." Yikes! Why would you say such a thing?
I have long maintained that sex in marriage is (or can be)a conundrum. Yes, the ideal is that the person with whom you share your life should be the most exciting and desirable person with whom you can share your body. But sex in marriage becomes about so many other things-- hurt feelings, family pressures, changing appearances, finances. So much "baggage" gets attached to it. If only these things could be left at the bedroom door.
Has anyone else read the memoir "Finding My Voice" by Diane Rehm, the NPR morning show host? It's a wonderful book. She had a harrowing childhood with a very cruel mother. She and her husband have had a very rocky marriage. In fact, they've written a book together about their marriage. But near the end of Finding My Voice, she makes the statement that in spite of everything "the physical passion that we felt for each other in the early days of our romance has remained" and seen them through the rough times. I found this very touching... their physical bond held them together when the other bonds were strained to breaking. It sounds like they did find a way to leave the baggage at the bedroom door.
