You guys know that I've been bouncing a million theories around over the last 6 mos.. I now realize that the reason I kept having to come up with theories is that my H wasn't revealing enough.

Here is what he revealed to me in the conversation we just had. He told me several weeks ago that he was LD in his previous relationships. He didn't go into any detail but I was relieved/depressed to hear this for all the obvious reasons. He gave me some further detail today. He told me that one of the women he was involved with was experienced (and self-confident) enough to just tell him in a nice way that he obviously had a low libido. I said "Well, maybe you didn't really have a low libido. Maybe you just weren't very experienced.". Then I asked "Were you attracted to her?". He said "Well, I liked the attention.". I said "I mean were you physically attracted to her. For instance, did you want to see what her breasts looked like naked?". He said "No. That's what I'm trying to tell you. I just don't think that way.".

This conversation actually started out on the topic of why he did things that I regard as "cruel" to me over the years. Guess what? It all had to do with sex. He was "mean" to me because he was angry that I was overweight because this made his low libido even lower. Also, he avoided a lot of physical contact because he was afraid that it might lead to a request for sex.

This is all freaking me out because it's so much like what was said in the books and he hasn't read the books and I truly believe that there is no way I suggested these ideas to him because I was kind of shocked by these revelations.

I have no idea what to do with this information.


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver