Hey 2much, glad you found me, I would love some input...
Here is an update, Oct 26-today
H didn't go out with OW the whole week, then on Friday night we went to a halloween thing, it was the first time since the bomb that we went out together with another couple. It was fun we all had a good time. We didn't end up renting a hotel room since it wasn't as far away as we thought.
So the 2 of us went out alone afterwards. H asked me a question and then he misunderstood my reply (what else is new?). Then he made the comment that he is tired of 'trying' with me. I said how are you trying? You are involved with someone else. How can you say that you are even giving us a chance if you are still emotionally attached to OW? He said that he has been staying home more often and going to more places with me. I said yes, that is true, but it is not consistent since you went out with her both last friday and saturday. I told him that I don't know if he is staying home cause he wants to be with me or if it is because he is having problems with her. I told him I don't want to assume anything or jump to conclusions. The night ended on a bad note. But I think he was mad about something with OW and he was trying to pick a fight with me...
Saturday night he went out with OW around 11pm. But then he showed up at home a couple of hours later. I was surprised but just acted like it was normal. H stayed home for this whole week again. I checked his text messages and they are still texting each other. On Friday night he told me he wasn't going out, we worked on the computer together, and then we watched a movie. On Saturday night he told me he was going out, I was disappointed but then decided to make the best of it. I asked him if he wanted to go for dinner first? He said sure. We both got dressed up nicely and then we went to the restaurant. We went to this really romantic place that we went to once before (a few years ago). We had an amazing time, laughing drinking etc... When it was time to leave he asked me for a kiss, we kissed and then I said I would talk to him later...
I went out to see my parents. On my way back home he called me and I told him I was stuck in traffic. He said to call him when I got home so he knew I was okay. I called him when I got home. We talked for a few minutes then he said he would talk to me later. I texted him a goodnight message just before I went to bed. He called me and said goodnight and that he would see me in the morning. I was sad but I didn't let him hear it... Then he showed up at home an hour later. Again, I didn't question it.
So he hasn't spent the night with OW for the past 2 weekends. He has only seen her twice during this time and only for a few hours each time. He hasn't gone out with her during the weeknights for over 4 weeks....
Last night he called her for 15 mins on his cell. I don't know what they were talking about. Later while we were getting ready for bed H asked me if I had dated or talked to any other guys, I said no. He asked me if I still love him, I said yes. He asked me if I thought that everything was okay between us and if we were 'together' again, cause he didn't want me to think that. I told him that I know that we are not.
Oh this is very tedious, I know things are slowing down between OW, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I have to constantly remind myself to look at the big picture, that I just have to be patient. It is hard to understand what the hell is going on since on one hand H got mad and told me that he IS trying - since he is spending more time with me. But then on the other hand he tells me that he doesn't want me to jump to any conclusions about him spending time with me! SO, does H spending less time with OW equal him trying with me or not???!#@%$#
He is so confused and continues to go back and forth himself. However, he is now spending about half the amount of time with OW that he used to. We have gotten closer but we can't seem to get past some of our issues. But then again, I don't expect to beable to repair our marriage completely with OW still in the picture. There is only so much we can do, especially since H tends to be in a foul or sad mood lately. So I am concentrating on me and fixing what I can...
