Thanks for your input Merlie, I am glad I can help others a little in their situations too.
I don't know how long this is going to take. H keeps fighting with her, but the result is the same, the affair continues. At the same time, we are closer than ever. He is still texting me when he goes out with her, and he is spending less time with her than before. I guess I just need to continue to be patient and doing 180s.
H was just given a job offer by the company I work for. He wouldn't be in the same building, but would be a few blocks away. This means we will be commuting together in the morning and evening. We can also do lunch often. Hmmm.... I hope this will be a good thing, he will also be closer to some of our friends and family that work in the same area, so he will be spending more time with me and with them.
A few nights ago, law and order was on tv and we watched it while working on the basement. It was about a husband (52 yrs old) who left his wife and 2 kids for his 25 yr old co-worker and they got married. Well the little bimbo was murdered and the ex-wife was the suspect. During the show many things came up that mirrored my feelings and what H is doing. The wife said that of course she didn't like the OW cause 'she slept with my husband, broke up my marriage and my family'. My sentiments exactly. The cops talked to his co-workers and other families members and everyone disapproved and said that he should have tried to work on his R with his wife instead of trying to start over. The H also got in an argument with the ex, saying that their marriage was over before OW showed up, that he wanted to be happy and so he was starting over. She said he had no business starting a new family by destroying his current one. Well it ended up that the 15 year old daughter murdered the OW cause she couldn't stand to see her mom in agony everyday (she was depressed and drinking). She couldn't stand seeing her dad make 'a fool out of himself'. And she hated being shuffled back and forth between the parents. She said she had to put a stop to the madness because her parents wouldn't. SOOO SAD.... So basically, because of the husbands selfishness and his affair - his wife was a disaster, the OW was dead, and his young daughter has ruined her entire life. NICE.... I hope he is happy now....
I don't know if this had any effect on my H, but I am very glad that he watched it.
H went out with OW on Wednesday, when he came back he told me he missed me and was thinking about ML with me. He called me 'my love' yesterday, I know he didn't mean to say it, that it slipped out. But I didn't make a big deal out of it, I just acted like it was normal...
Tonight he is going out with his friends (not with OW). I wonder if he will go to her afterwards or come home? Not that I will be holding my breath or anything. I have actually picked up a new hobby during all the times that H has been out with OW. So I am just going to do my own thing tonight....
H is supposed to come to my parents for thanksgiving on Monday, and on Sunday I think his brother is doing something. I wonder if OW is planning anything? Will H have to disappoint her or me? We'll see.....
