Thanks again all. As far as sexual initiation goes, she and I both know I was not about to initiate last night. I NEVER initiate after sundown! My only agenda last night was to make a point of thanking her for doing all the planning because I truly did feel thankful, and I knew (or thought I knew) she would want to hear me express it.
Nops' dialogue is more true than I would want to believe. I do a LOT, without complaint, and usually without calling attention to it.
My dilemma is, if I tell her about my appreciation for her work or deeds, she brushes it off, and if I don't, she faults me for not appreciating anything she does. That is called a Catch-22. All I can do is keep trying to be a nice, appreciative guy, and hope she gets over whatever demons keep on telling her to doubt me.
As for calling for a cease-fire on sexual initiation, I haven't pushed that issue for at least 2 or 3 weeks. By "pushing that issue" I mean, what I usually do, which is, while laying in bed (usually on a weekend morning), beginning to touch her, kiss her, non-sexual stuff, Then I maybe work my way to her breasts. If I've gotten that far (and the process, up to this point, usually takes about 10-15 minutes) and she hasn't either pushed my hand away or told me to stop, then it usually means I can proceed farther. She has told me that just saying, "wanna fool around?" or something similar, doesn't work for her. Yes, of course there are rules to follow in every engagement with her.
I was just thinking about the last two times we have made love at night. Once was when she had just returned from a trip to China, and her inner-clock was all messed up, and she was laying awake at 2a.m. and she even initiated! That was in 2001. The other time was the night before we were to leave on our trip to China to adopt our daughter. I said to her, "you know, this is the last time we will be in bed together without a child in the house for a long time." We ML and, it was the most loving, intimate session we had had in a long time, or since. That was in October 2002.
