NOP, Are you saying that her love language is WOA and instead of talking her UP with his words, he is tearing her down (I want more sex) and this is having a disastrous effect on the marriage?
I, too, read his exchanges with his wife and think What does she WANT from him?? I mean, specifically..? I understand that she moved to be with him, etc, but I have a hard time understanding how he can make that up to her--is this even possible or desirable? Also there is that punishing element to her personality that Corri pointed out that would make it darn near impossible for him to appreciate her.
But I do think that people who are acts of service oriented do so, in part, because they want the praise from their mates. I know my SIL is like this to an almost bizarre extreme. She will stay up all night baking an elaborate cake and decorating it with millions of little stars or whatever (lol) but boy if the recipient doesn't give the proper amount of praise and gushiness, she will never forget it. So yeah she likes to service people but she likes that praise a whole lot more.
Hairy's wife seems to really light up when he praises her and tells her what a good attorney she is so maybe this is an area to work with. Not very Schnarchian but there's more than one way to skin a peach, right NOP!
