Hd ,

I am sad to hear about all this but I have to say that if my H had said those exact words to me.... It would be a deal breaker.

Maybe I am just past the point of trying to see his side of everything. And changing who I am to fit!!


IMHO... we get married to share, comfort, commisserate, nurse , play , any old adjective will do. We choose the person because we love them and we have a bond with them , that we never have had before with anyone. Part of that bond and those marraige vows is that you become one. Not to the point of losing yourself though.

What I am doing a poor job of trying to say is Why should the HD spouse always be the one that has to make the changes and learn to "accept" the bait and switch person the LD spouse has become.

I think you should set down your own boundaries, move to the basement and tell your wife that although she is entitled to her "boundaries ", you have them too! And one of them is to not SETTLE for a marriage where no sex is one of your two choices.

Sorry I hope that made sense I am in a minor funk today myself I am really tired of my LDH playing like he is not the sharpest tack in the box!