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You guys keep mentioning that Mrs. HD wouldn't have made all these sacrifices if she wasn't really invested in her relationship with HD. I think it is possible that motherhood is what she was seeking in the relationship and what she is hoping to preserve in a pristine form by preserving it.



Interesting point that she married an "idea" instead of h-dog.

Man, you sure seem to have a high threshold for insanity.

It's easy for us to guess what she is thinking but it's wrong. I've learned that hd shouldn't even be trying to guess what she is thinking. You guys need to stop the defensiveness etc. and have a calm talk. My counselor has created 4 subject-areas house,kids,one-on-one,and sex. She want's us to focus on the areas where there is a problem and learn to discuss the differences without trying to "solve" the differences but rather work within them. We've improved a bunch in our ability to discuss and even laugh at our differences. When you can learn to do that, you will feel a connection that's more meaningful than the one sex brings.

But this isn't that simple when one person's difference is such that the other doesn't want to live with it. You clearly do not want to stay married to your W under these circumstances. Let her admit that she really doesn't want sex and then you can admit that you don't want to be married to someone who doesn't want sex. There could be a handful of other differences too like the kids, house, and one-on-one issues. Let her know which differences you appreciate, which ones irritate you, which ones are deal-breakers. Stop trying to compromise your wants to simply "make things work". She needs to do the same and she also needs to accept responsibility for her own feelings.

The previous message is from NewAgeDave...OldDave says to start ignoring her, stop pursuing her, go silent, move into the basement and tell her that you are simply doing what you need to do to maintain your integrity without completely nuking the marriage. I'm sure some folks want me to put oldDave back in the box.




Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time -Steven Wright