I agree completely with NOPkins - your wife is obviously freaked out. This is what I was trying to tell you earlier.
I think your wife wants you to take care of her, but is not able to bring herself to trust you to do so. What will it take for her to respect and trust you? I have no idea. I agree with you that she is going to have to deal with her own demons. Maybe you can ask yourself what you can do to drive her to her crucible? But then again - you have said that you are not ready to do this yet. There is a very real possibility that she is not up to it, and may bolt. I really, truly don't see any other choices at this point.
