I'm trying to work with you on this, Nop. I don't think she's aware of the ex's recent email in which she said she'd take me back. I actually don't think she'd feel that threatened about it. Yesterday's jealousy of my lunch with J was confronted, and she said she was just kidding. I tend to think that she is fearful of me leaving her, and fearful of failing as a wife, and fearful of appearing incompetent at something, namely, love. I also think that she does not want to let me close to her, emotionally-speaking, because of something in her past, probably due to her father's quasi-emotionally-abusive treatment of her as a child, her mother's failure to stand up for herself, and who knows what else. I know that I can't work these things out for her, that she'll have to do this hard work, and, except for providing her with the numbers of my EAP plan and a recommendation on a therapist (about which she hasn't spoken), there is little else I can do.
I wish I understood her. I think she needs to be held close, but she won't let me close enough to do this. Hugs and kisses, when given, are quick and peremptory.
